A female mafia kingpin?

Once the diagnosis is officially GID my status as Chicago Italian./Roman Mafia First will certainly  come up for review.

the organization which named me first

I have to clarify, to the extent I am able, what I know about the organization which named me as "first". The Chicago Mafia is not the end of it. There is a part of it which is fully legal, yet has all the power of the criminal division, and moreso. I know nothing of its history. All I observe is that there is a controlling hand at work in America, and that I am given first consideration within my own sphere of activity. This is not autocratic power in my hands. It is enlightened response by someone else to my efforts. I maintain complete legality in my own actions. I inform my actions with the knowledge that nothing I do will be unnoticed. By that criterion I assume responsibility for making things better. It is not a matter of dreaming up schemes. It is a matter of reducing the plethora of confusing impressions to a simple expression of underlying truths, based on experience and reason. It is not easy work.

More than this is difficult to say.

A mystery guest who knows my English ancestry--what they need to know

There is a large mystery guest looking on over me. I think it's somebody who is familiar with my English ancestors. They didn't like what I did at Yale or anything after that. I won't waste their time defending those times. Instead, I point out that in 1981 I had a fight with several young men in Santa Cruz, CA that created a very different constituency for me and anyone who wants to know what I'm doing now needs to know about that fight.

I didn't feign from taking their assault. I was a target because I was homeless, sleeping on a bus bench, in the middle of the night. After seveal minutes they were unable to beat me, though I took a blow. Under cover of night they could have killed me. As a homeless, no one would have investigated. But as the winner, because I walked away without fear, and their intent was totally thwarted, I gained the respect of Santa Cruz youth--one of them came to me after the fight, when I told the kicker that I was unhurt, shaking my hand and said, "Welcome to Santa Cruz!" despite the lingering presence of the attackers. I believe the movie trilogy, "Karate Kid" is a spinoff of this fight, which I am unabashedly proud of, as the portrayal of the central character is quite glamorous, and his teacher quite wise.

I feel confident I have acted in good faith to my performance in the fight, and have made it pay off in social terms by enabling me to be tapped by the Chicago Mafia as a kingpin, a distinction that is rare in anyone's book, regardless of all the unsavory preceding events of mental breakdown and loss of home, and the failures in astronomy and architecture. I am advancing on several fronts as I write, as a recognized king of Chicago.

The mystery guest needs to check these claims out. Much potential is being wasted by their continuing refusal to admit me to national renown, which I believe is their territorial pleasure. None of the groups that have indicated they are following me is able to bring renown without some assurances of backup by the mystery guest.

I believe it is a matter of honor, but also of impact, denied. I refuse to allow my claims to be described as vanity, for which reason I go on at length when I describe my distinctions, to reassure the audience that I am basically a humble guy who just happened to be confronted with great odds, and became a champion most reluctantly, but refuses not to serve as requested in response to these distinctions, and finds the lack of cooperation of the mystery guest quite irksome, but how would they know about the fight in Santa Cruz unless I told them and they checked it out.

Dave Ristau in the seventh grade

Dave Ristau was a student in my honors English class in the seventh grade. He was one of the top gangsters in the school at that time. How could he get into an honors class?

Very simple, if you'll permit me a little speculative license.

I was known as promising. Little was it known just how promising i was. The Italian mafia knew exactly how promising i was. They wanted a piece of my action.

When JFK was assassinated it happened during honors English class and Dave Ristau was in the back watching me. The mob had JFK assassinated. The mob was going to ride me to the presidency.

Well it didn't happen. Instead, i beat them at their own game and became kingpin, taking Obama to the White House on my coattails. So now they have to accept the black race as equals. I don't think all of them like it. They will have to adjust.

VISA credit card endorsement

I have had a VISA credit card for over a year now. I would say it is responsible for a large part of my security today, in dollar terms. Without it, my health would be poorer because I would not have eaten as well. Though all my available cash goes to make the monthly minimum payments, I have calculated this part of my budget over the next year and it looks like i am in ship shape.I get three meals a day at my nursing home. These are on the order of 70% eatable. While this is a problem, it is not as big a problem as being homeless, which I was for eight years. So you can see why i say the VISA card has been good for me. it's not a grant. I have to pay it all back eventually, plus interest of course. But in my line of work, that is, being the first of the chicago mafia, every moment in the present, spent on pivotal details, means a whole lot more high functioning structure in my world than would exist otherwise, and thereby the means of paying for the present use of those funds will more than likely be ready at hand.

I also have a Mastercard for business.

opposition to my actions as First of Chicago's Mafia

During the past 16 years, I have held the belief that the opposition I was sensing to my actions as First of the Mafia in Chicago was wrong, that it was a manifestation of a wrong perception of me on the part of someone who should have known better. It is my updated view, today, that the opposition is not wrong, but must be assumed as a part of being First, and that the thing to do is get on with it. I don't advise people to oppose my actions, however, nor do I wish to take a laissez-faire attitude toward it. On the other hand, I must accept that being First necessarily entails deeply unpopular actions, even among the personnel of the Mafia itself, or else nothing ambitious is being done, no risks are being taken, and nobody's reputation is on the line. From the very beginning, me being First in Chicago, something ambitious was being done, risks were being taken, and somebody's reputation was on the line. So while at the start I was put off by the opposition I felt, now I see better that that is only natural, and a part of the landscape for a position as important as First of the Mafia in Chicago, if one takes it seriously, and how can one not?

This in no way lessens the reasonableness, from its own point of view, of any particular position of opposition to my actions as first, but neither does it substantiate such opposition. Furthermore, the opposition is not expected to diminish just because it gets my blessings, as a certain perspective might put it. But also it may happen that the drag on me of opposition stops being so aggravating as it was before, when I took it as something in need of attention down to the most minute detail.

This development comes in parallel with continuing progress in my home bureau on some major quantitative work which has been slowed up considerably by the opposition of poor comprehension, a condition which seems, with successive rounds of discovery of better ways to express the work, to be, possibly entirely, caused by departures from perfectly expressive form, this being my own responsibility. The perception of the work is rife with imperfections of logic, my own closely held logic and the logic held somewhat less closely which may be more proprietary to the greater universe in which I operate, a universe not normally seen in so personal a way by those who are not mentally ill. It must correspondingly be pointed out, however it may seem that this is an admission of my having pathological symptoms of mental illness, that the work I have done enables me to say that these less closely held logical phenomena have been brought considerably closer and under better control, as a result of my complete theory of mental illness, as partially revealed in the obelisk statement (update: obelisk now removed.) in the sidebar. This is a vast subject and I am not about to leap into it at this time.