What Crystal Newell may or may not understand, and how that needs to change if I succeed without her.

What Crystal Newell needs to convince me of if she ever develops a desire to show me loyalty is that having a child when I am in my seventies is a proper achievement for me.

We know Charlie Chaplin did it. But that just proves one incident. If Crystal is to exceed with her sexual prowess the competition, which is whatever becomes a reasonable field of females for me given what success I have once I leave Bryn Mawr Care, then that success, and Crystal's view of it in terms of what desire for me it generates, must be set against one another. This is the state of affairs I have created by breaking up with her. I am not trying to make her jealous. I am giving her a chance to see herself on a larger scale, one which may turn out to be more than she can manage. If I succeed greatly, then there will be little reason to return to just an old girlfriend unless she has some real sense. She will have to take the first step. Time is wasting already.

Crystal is incapable of self-criticism. The relationship is terminated.

I have determined beyond a reasonable doubt that Crystal Newell, the girl I have been dating since September 11, 2008, is incapable of self-criticism. This is a sufficient mark of poor character for me to cease dating her. It also implies inability to recognize character that does include a capacity for self-criticism, which explains why she chooses not to extend fidelity to me, and frees me from having to apply my self-criticism to search for a personal deficit or over-sight that would explain her lack of fidelity.

Any retreat from termination of the relationship would require nullification of the judgment that she is incapable of self-criticism, or a sanguine estimate of how long it would be necessary to wait for her to develop this qualification for marriage under the best of circumstances, my being with her being the sole guarantor of such, self-criticism being uncommon enough that it would likely not fall into place over the three years I am willing to wait over the two already passed. Waiting for that would be a matter of discretion on my part, requiring sufficient inducements in the way of accumulated incidents of exceptional character display or exceptional body carriage and proportions. My records having proven to be an influence over the population, it must be admitted that this current document must be granted some expectation of having an effect on the circumstances in question. But how long must the decision be delayed? Only long enough to let register in my frame whatever disposition there is of the state of affairs. No unseen hand is evident in the rapport between myself and this girl. Self-criticism is a necessary qualification for rulers, and any ruler must refrain from procreation if he has no mate capable of it. The state cannot be asked to gamble along with me, so I am letting Crystal go at this time, without need to explain myself to her any more than saying she is incapable of self-criticism, if she asks me, as she has in the past, why I haven't asked her out in a while. Fidelity would command more explanation and she has not produced it.

The connection between Crystal Newell and myself.

The connection between Crystal Newell and myself is gaseous. Under stress, it dispels, then accumulates again. Sometimes it takes a long time to reaccumulate. Each time it reaccumulates I learn something about her.

Crystal and my character set.

I have shared with Crystal Newell eight of the sixteen characters in my set. Wednesday I showed her a sheet with them written on it and asked her to copy each one below it. She did so. Then I told her that there are eight more characters that I will give to her if we are married. She responded, "all right." This was a response along the line of her last two responses to my talk of marriage, which she greeted with wild laughter, the first, and mild laughter, the second. She's getting used to the idea.

Crystal Newell knocks more sweetly than opportunity

I have seen a significant development last week in my courtship of Crystal Newell.

She knocked on my door, and when I opened it she asked if we could do something together, anything at all was the general idea.

I have my conjectures about what brought her do say this, and will keep them private.

I will be making the most of this new development as time progresses.

Crystal is one surprising and excellent lady.

Bryn Mawr Care's treatment of Crystal Newell will improve or I will not endorse them.

If my nursing home, Bryn Mawr Care, wants to culture my approval, it will improve its consideration of my girlfriend, Crystal Newell. The clinical director has said to me when I indicated I was pursuing a romantic relationship with her that, "with Crystal, I'm afraid what you see is what you get." High level staff have described her as a "runner" because she doesn't adjust her pace on the public sidewalk to those in her party. I have met her half-way with a brisk walk of my own and she markedly provided her half of the deal, so now we usually keep a pace we both like, though it can be a bit of a strain for me. I consider it nothing more nor less than good exercise to walk with Crystal. I see no validity in prescription of one person's pace over another's. To put her on restriction, as they have done repeatedly, for exercising her right to keep her own pace is ignorant and totally without judicial merit, in my view. Let us hope the current pause in such restrictions is permanent.

But other things are also bothering me about the way they treat her. This statement by the clinical director, Pat Blumen, is not what I would expect from someone who has responsibility for a large group of people of widely varying characteristics, such as we have at Bryn Mawr Care. I said to her that I chose to exercise patience in assessing Crystal's character. Miss Blumen, said that was my right, and clearly thought I was a fool.

Bryn Mawr Care needs to do better before I issue any endorsement of it, and I withdraw the unofficial endorsement I previously gave it for installing free WiFi, which has been anything but constant in service, thus my refusal to make the endorsement official at this time. Crystal's handling will improve before I utter any more endorsements.

Valentine's Day with Crystal

For Valentine's Day I took Crystal across the street to Zanzibar's for ice cream. I'm going to post about them on Yelp, forthwith. Here is the link.

Romance with Crystal is heating up.

Tonight when I was seated in the second floor dayroom of my nursing home Crystal came in looking for something and briefly spoke to someone before leaving the room.

I was overwhelmed by her bearing and radiance.

Two days ago I realized that my accumulated idea of what it takes to win a girl is with Crystal absolutely inadequate. Her morality, combined with her bearing, which I had seen once before at the heroic level, are an order higher than anyone I have had a chance to pursue before.

While I had seen her heroic bearing before, this was the first time I have ever seen her so radiant.

This romance is heating up.