Sunday, February 6, 2011

What Crystal Newell may or may not understand, and how that needs to change if I succeed without her.

What Crystal Newell needs to convince me of if she ever develops a desire to show me loyalty is that having a child when I am in my seventies is a proper achievement for me.

We know Charlie Chaplin did it. But that just proves one incident. If Crystal is to exceed with her sexual prowess the competition, which is whatever becomes a reasonable field of females for me given what success I have once I leave Bryn Mawr Care, then that success, and Crystal's view of it in terms of what desire for me it generates, must be set against one another. This is the state of affairs I have created by breaking up with her. I am not trying to make her jealous. I am giving her a chance to see herself on a larger scale, one which may turn out to be more than she can manage. If I succeed greatly, then there will be little reason to return to just an old girlfriend unless she has some real sense. She will have to take the first step. Time is wasting already.