multiple females

Homeless in the New Haven, CT, area in 1981, it occurred to me I could make a little nomey without having to contend with competition by working as a model for artists.

The first class I modeled for was at Paier School of Art, I believe in West Haven.

What i did there is not for public expression here because this is not an adult content blog. It can be said, however, that after class, the model for a neighboring class came over and complimented me on my work.

I did artists' modeling work when I was able throughout homelessness.

One job that stands out was at the Cambridge Adult Education Center in Cambridge, MA. Unbeknownst to me until I got there, it was an all female class. They were playing traditional oriental music all during the class. Their ages were widely ranged, from just adult to senior citizen, about 15 women in all.

I posed on a turntable. The members of the class took turns rotating the turntable every ten minutes or so.

Tell the minors to skip the next sentence.

Artists models pose in the nude.

I believe I was asked to do this class of women because of my handling of a situation in a previous class. After that class as I was leaving the classroom I was greeted understatedly by a girl student and we talked for a few moments. She was nervous. I concluded she was thinking about how nice it would be to invite me to her home or something like that and have sex. I had been clued in by one of the administrators at the center that hustling by models was common, normal, and acceptable. My own belief was that it was not proper. So in talking with this girl I was careful to be honest in my attraction to her just as she was honest in her attraction to me, but also careful not to steer the conversation towards taking advantage of her attraction to me for money. The conversation ended naturally and no invitation was given and I made no suggestion of a deal. There were other people still in the room but they paid no attention to us. I was not able to suggest a date free from hustling only because I was penniless and couldn't afford to entertain her in my customary way and I have never asked women to treat me simply because I couldn't treat them but wanted to go out with them. This was my way homeless just as much as it was and is not homeless. Some women have treated me, and in one instance I was materially at a loss and lived materially not at a loss because of a woman's treating me, with complicated feelings about this. I think this is a strong position and its evidencing itself was the reason I was asked to model for the class of all women. I have never spoken of this incident until now.

It is to be reported in light of that experience that one night when I was living in Chicago after leaving IIT and had very little money I went for some coffee at the nearby Burger King and upon entering and standing in the entrance I looked into the restaurant and saw a gathering of about a dozen females, all about the same age, maybe 25, dressed in business attire. Their glances were there and abouts, but when one girl saw me she looked at me more, and then others in the group looked at me and looked at me more, and then all of them were looking at me. All in complete silence and keen attention. I just looked at them back.

They started getting their drinks, went and sat at some tables together, and were very silent. They were definitely paying attention to me still.

I got my drink and decided this was a moment for whatever I could do in the way of action. I sat down at the table next to them. They all sat there, silently, and looked here and abouts. I sat looking here and abouts myself, thinking of something to say, if possible. Nothing occurred to me. It was a situation new to me and I had no words that suited.

Then one of the girls said into the public space, with normal volume, “it's unfortunate we can't speak.” or something to that effect. I still didn't know what to say and wasn't willing to abuse my social position, for what it was worth, to take advantage by saying something suggestive. A partner twelve-fold is twelve times as demanding. I've often wished since then I had found something to say.

When i was in college the first time I met a girl in public in Chicago and we had sex that night in her apartment. She told me she had a lot of girlfriends who would like to do the same with me if I wanted. I was just enough concerned about the danger I was already in that it was easy for me to decline this invitation.

an incident with the clinical director of the nursing home where i live

An incident typical of the mental health industry:

I approached the clinical director of the mental illness nursing home where I live with a suggestion that they offer a group for people with management skills. There are about five people out of the 180 who live here who I would consider good candidates. Her response: “We're a residential facility. We don't handle employment issues.”

I note that the company that owns this nursing home calls itself SIR Management, SIR standing for “specialists in rehabilitation”. What the hell kind of rehabilitation do they specialize in that doesn't consider the presence of management talent something that should be given a high priority for consideration for a group.

This same clinical director in a recent conversation with me said that friendship between staff and residents is not allowed. Then without a breath she said that she's passionate about her job and that she loves the work. I thought to myself, how can this lady expect anyone to take her seriously if she demands to be considered passionate about people she can't even be friends with. As far as I can tell, being passionate about your job means only one thing: if you get fired it will break your heart. If you ask me anyone who expects job security because getting fired will break their heart doesn't deserve the job over someone who takes a more business-like attitude toward job security.

There isn't a snow-ball's chance in hell of my saying what I think to this lady. She considers me inherantly untrustworthy, like she does all of the residents.