Sunday, January 24, 2010

It's Crystal forever.

I just returned to my room now having told Crystal I will go out with her forever, no matter what. She said ok and really was clear about it in saying that. But then I added a repeat of my opening statement to her that I was sorry I had said I would never date her again and she didn't say anything, which made me think I should have been happy with her ok and just left, instead of belaboring it. I'm so torn over these momentary conversations, I guess because I would rather spend all my time with her. It certainly goes a lot better when we spend the day together.

I think my problem is that I don't hear some important sounds in my own body. I don't know what they are, but I need to find out. They would help me to respond in the immediate present to Crystal instead of having to rely so heavily on a prepared statement, which I always do when I go to her room. I don't write them down. I just prepare them mentally.