Saturday, January 22, 2011

No connection between me and the Jews, despite the analogy with Moses.

I have on occasion referred to myself with the terms, "the successor to Moses." This usage is misleading and I regret using it without any clarification of the fact that there is in it no implication whatsoever with respect to the Jews. Moses was tied to the Jewish race by birth and by personal identification with it that came later in his life than his earlier position of privilege within the Egyptian culture. I have no such tie or personal identification with the Jews. I do not attribute what I saw to an entity called God. I consider it instead to be a natural phenomenon that has enabled me to have a significant effect on my surroundings, these being those of a mentally ill person living in a nursing home for the mentally ill. It seems clear that there is something of an analogy between the Jews' role in the life of Moses and the mentally ill's role in my life. I don't bother to look for an analogy in my life for the parting of the Red Sea. First, it seems unlikely that anything like the event as depicted in the movie, The Ten Commandments, actually occurred. Second, I gather that I am something more of a scientist than Moses was, and expect more of a scientific process from myself rather than a magical one.

There is no doubt in my mind that what I did for the community in the nursing home where I live at this writing was something eligible to be called a miracle. I am myself at a loss to explain the particular acts I took, except for the ones related to the line-ups here, which are more simple in conception even though they too were very difficult under the conditions that existed at the time. What I said in the dining room I doubt I will ever find a way to explain. It was said in such utter turmoil, was so at pains to improve the situation, and drew from such an extreme ramp-up of understanding toward the creation of a positive effect, that explaining it will forever be a less useful and because of that a less likely action. It appears the effect is permanent, and done with such finality that my own fate is less tied to the mentally ill now than Moses's fate was tied to the Jews after he worked his magic at the Red Sea. My reading of this is that all of the mentally ill here have a greatly expanded field in which to seek their fortunes, and my fate is to seek my fortunes like the rest of them. Thankfully, I have no role in serving the mentally ill any more. I am at work on my personal understanding of mental illness and if I am successful in it I expect to benefit personally and not share my understanding with others, others having completely rejected the initial stages of development of my work.

Such is the path of logistical division between myself and H. sapiens.