Thursday, November 19, 2009


In 1992 I saw on a building the fire that Moses saw on a bush thousands of years ago.

How am I to interpret this? There was no voice. There were no instructions.

To make the situation more difficult to interpret, I had three experiences leading up to seeing this fire in which my body was vacated by a low tone, stirring my bones and blasting through my eyes, leading me to assemble the terms os, for bones, and iris, for eyes, into the term "osiris". This makes a second Egyptian waysign.

I am not on a schedule. If I give myself a certain number of days to devote myself to a task, I can generally rely on having those days to so allot.

I have a home base--a psychiatric nursing home--paid for by social security disability and public aid. I have accounts at a bank. These are small. A detailed examination of my finances would be unwise to publish. I have two alma maters.

But my efforts at selling art have been dismal. There is no welcome for me being a success. A few old friends maybe, but nothing large. I remember a feeling of absolute uncaringness surrounding my labors at doing art in a Starbucks store. Not my uncaringness. Others' uncaringness.

I may have talent in art, but I am not perceived as such, and that is what makes success.

I am afraid it makes more sense for me to blaspheme mankind than to pretend to enjoy my situation. I am not in a profit-making place. I am able to consider myself a successor to Moses, so why not do so? If I am cut out for being a prophet, then nothing profitable will work out for me. I'm afraid it has been a waste of time to do art. I thought that the Chicago Mafia would back me up in it, but they haven't. I don't know why. It's time to try something else.

I have been poor enough that I know damn well that mankind is bound up in his profit-making and will not listen to prophetic statements. I don't believe that everything in the bible is true, and I don't assume that Moses was a success. His story might have been made up in some parts. I think he had a big effect, but I don't think I can rely on being his successor as a guarantee I will be a success at being a prophet. It is a difficult thing being a prophet. It is hard enough when God tells you what to do. It is harder still when he doesn't. You would think that me being mentally ill it would just naturally follow that I would hear God talking to me. But not so.

I could write in circles forever. I don't plan to do so.

I'm done for now. You don't participate in my discussion so why should I satisfy your hunger for meaty discourse.