engaging the client in a conversation prior to forming the art

The blog, being devoted to careful, inspired use of words, is the perfect setting in which to cultivate the interest of clients in the art I produce, English transformation art. By creating an environment in which a conversation naturally evolves, ideally with the client participating in comments and in that way engaging the artist in the client's own deepest language development, a speedier arrival at the central focus of interest can be brought about--the one or two words which most transform the client's everyday experience into that magic realm of wonder, the world of ideas.

a biography of James Batek

I was going to create two wikipedia articles, one on Batek Binary and one a biography of myself, but on entering the wikipedia world I found that they require a neutral point of view, prohibit original research, and require that all material have a reliable published source. I don't know if they would consider a blog a reliable published source, and although maybe they would I'm not going to push it. I readily admit I deal with controversial original ideas that aren't discussed anywhere else and to label them as coming from a reliable source is way beyond the good will that I have accrued in the publishing world. To assert that to wikipedia, where these issues are primary, would be a waste of time.

However, I will go ahead and publish these two articles, already written, here on this blog, by my usual method with scholarly work of first publishing to scribd.com and then embedding the scribd.com document here. I will place this introduction, from the beginning to here, at the head of both articles.

This is the second article, a biography of myself, James Batek.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/19040742/James-Batek

Batek Binary as the only way to properly communicate with other species

I was going to create two wikipedia articles, one on Batek Binary and one a biography of myself, but on entering the wikipedia world I found that they require a neutral point of view, prohibit original research, and require that all material have a reliable published source. I don't know if they would consider a blog a reliable published source, and although maybe they would I'm not going to push it. I readily admit I deal with controversial original ideas that aren't discussed anywhere else and to label them as coming from a reliable source is way beyond the good will that I have accrued in the publishing world. To assert that to wikipedia, where these issues are primary, would be a waste of time.

However, I will go ahead and publish these two articles, already written, here on this blog, by my usual method with scholarly work of first publishing to scribd.com and then embedding the scribd.com document here. I will place this introduction, from the beginning to here, at the head of both articles.

This is the first article, Batek Binary.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/19040144/Batek-Binary-Too-Original-for-Wikipedia

suggesting successful friendships on facebook

One of the things I am most proud of in social networking is the success of friendships I have suggested on facebook. These are people I knew in high school at Glenbard West who were part of a large number of social connections which I belonged to. They ranged from the very visible figures in organizations and school work to the very formless connections of some students who may have been extremely successful in one way or another but who never established, or wanted to establish, a visible presence among their peers. I have found that my concept of these connections, all told across all the various degrees of visibility, is replete with potential friendships that I do not have a specific memory of but which are to one extent or another a likely match, based just on these very intangible memories of connections. It is always a thrill to me when I get a message from facebook saying that a friendship I suggested was accepted by the two people, and it is usually two people whose knowing each other was no more than a guess on my part.

Art now available unsigned at less cost.

I have now added an option for the buyer of my English transformation art, on this blog, to buy the art with a "trademark" instead of my signature, at $60 for an 18"x24" print, instead of $100. Larger sizes are proportionately reduced.

This will enable me to hire a staff to perform all the work on this unsigned product, while retaining the option of a signed work at a premium.

defense of my dispute with a resident over Crystal

After I posted about my dispute with a Bryn Mawr Care resident over Crystal, which see, I had a discussion of it with a good friend who objected to my handling of it because of what he said was my use of violence instead of my "grey matter". I asked this friend for pemission to post to my blog a certain part of my correspondence with him as it seemed to be a good defense of my position. He gave me that permission. Here is the exerpt:

Life in the city, if you're really serious about it, eventually gets you into fights. You can't stake your claim by polite competition, not indefinitely. Crystal does not say I am her boyfriend. I am making progress on that, as you note. One aspect of the pursuit is the consensus in the community about who is pursuing whom. If someone feels comfortable making statements about Crystal that can be interpreted as vying for her despite my making it known I am pursuing her, then the consensus needs some correction. I did that. Mr. Lisk didn't take me seriously as a condition in his role here with respect to Crystal. He was not listening to me when I simply told him she isn't his girlfriend. He would not have listened to me if I simply repeated it, or rephrased it or elaborated. He was content to make such statements without fear of reprisal. I did not accept that this was a necessary situation. There was only one way to change it and I used it. Mr. Lisk felt the fury of my action and was visibly shaken by it. Then I continued in it until I was satisfied he changed his tune. It took every ounce of my grey matter that you cited to me so aptly in a way, to structure my response to get that result--the staging of the battles, the selection of objectives, and the phrasing of statements--as a permanent change in the consensus of the community at the nursing home. Now they all know what I will do if someone rivals me for the hand of Crystal, and it's not unsupported by the degree to which she has allowed herself to be pursued by me. She was present at the final argument that saw Mr. Lisk back down and so she is aware to some extent now of how I am pursuing her in the larger context beyond the two of us alone. It is intelligent. It, if you will pardon my license, is honorable. It certainly is not taking the easier path.

On Religion

I am a complete atheist. I have no doubt that all of my own extraordinary experiences, including hearing extracorporeal voices, materializing in other person's bodies, seeing lights that looked like humans, and witnessing on a building the same fire that Moses saw on a bush, are reducible to the laws of physics.

I consider religion an early system of incorporating extreme experiences into civilization, formed by those who have such experiences in an attempt to harvest them for mankind rather than have them discounted as irrelevant to day to day existence. This is a valid motive. It produced a strong civilization out of what were unorganized bands of humans.

However, this strong civilization has continued to evolve and now we have a population largely equipped with a scientifically valid cosmological perspective, principally that the Earth is not the center of the universe. The stability generated by such a perspective seems to be greater than the stability that was generated by religion. Furthermore, it is becoming increasingly acceptable to discredit religion and rely on the cosmological perspective alone for one's orientation to the world. This is not an ideal situation. Discrediting religion is destructive to many people who are not yet to the point where the cosmological perspective has thoroughly saturated their worlds. Religion arose out of an inchoate abyss and that abyss has not vanished, even with the expansion of the cosmological perspective. Most likely it will never be entirely supplanted. In this abyss there will always be a role in many people's lives for religion. If history were more transparent it would be easier for scientists to grant to the masses their obsession with religion. I certainly do not wish to make history more obscure by promoting unorthodox concepts, but neither do I wish to allow the existing obscurity to cause mankind to founder.

It is this view on my part that makes me quite forgiving of radical Islam for making America its spiritual enemy. America has done nothing for Islam. It is consumed with its role as champion of freedom and is unable to enlarge its agenda. It was hoped that freedom would take the world to its next stage of development, but that has not happened. World events have advanced in parallel with America's championing of freedom, not really with any sort of resonance, as far as the rest of the world is concerned. It is America's larger nature that keeps us among the world's leaders, not our self-image.

You, by way of the Italian Mafia, have made me your First Citizen. I have taken this honor and responsibility to heart and made every effort to develop it in intellectual terms, as I consider that its greatest worth, rather than an opportunity to enforce my persuasions upon the people, though I certainly have embraced a cause or two.

The results of this intellectual sojourn have been in a sort of exploration of the limiting values of my own ability to set out on a new course as a possible first generation of a different civilization than America, the Western World, or Homo sapiens. I do not have unlimited ability in this respect. However my limits are somewhat determined by my own decisions and efforts. I was not made First of anything in particular. I was just made First. I took that fact to imply that it was up to me just how far my being First extended.

I have a major protection here. I do my work in my own language, whose characters I created, and I do not share this language with anyone but my mate apparent and when we have children with them. I can do this because I am proving able to establish an income independently without taking employment. In the past those who have been driven by exigence to create a new character set have been unable to survive without enlisting the cooperation of the people, and so have had to share their characters with their nonblood contemporaries.

This leaves me in a favorable position. I can satisfy the Italian Mafia that I am providing leadership by blogging in English. I can generate income with English transformation art. Everyone goes home happy.

By the way, I endorse the objectives of the United States government to bring democratic rule in Iraq and Afghanistan. I offer radical Islam the pen. I will deny them their swords.

The transformation of English transformation art into a solely manufactured product without a signature

The creation of a work of English transformation art, once the color schemes have been determined, is a matter of careful computer work. It is all work that follows a formula and therefore can be completely automated. Today there is general acceptance of the idea of digital art--work generated completely by a computer--and English transformation art is a cousin to that. This is the basis on which I, the artist, justify placing my signature on the work and selling it as art rather than an object solely of manufacture.

However, while the signature adds a certain value to the art it does not affect the aesthetic qualities of the art itself. Why not then operate as a manufacturer by omitting the signature and placing an imprint of a trademark on the work instead? Production of a work would in that case not require the imposition, at a key place in the manufacturing process, of the natural hand of the artist, making of the whole a manufacturing business rather than a craft business, and establishing the artist as the owner of that business with full power to hire a staff which would design systems of manufacture according to engineering standards based on the general aesthetic principle of English transformation art. The price a work produced in this manner could command would be less than the price a signed work could expect, but the labor required to produce the work, and thus its cost of production, would be less also. Profit margin would be roughly preserved and the owner of the business would be faced with business challenges rather than craft challenges.

As for the sense one would get from a manufactured item, the machine-like nature of this art is not the sort of thing that makes one look for the hand of a human author. It is the thinking up of the idea for the art, and the sharp simplicity of its expression, that impresses the viewer, not some consideration of craft, whether strongly to the technical side or strongly to the manual side. A signature speaks to craft among the general body of craftsmen while a trademark speaks to thought among the general body of thinkers. Certainly good aesthetic judgment plays a part in the formation of the business and would never be relegated to a minor role. But like other items that have been transformed by modern industrial capabilities into mass markets, to the benefit of the whole population, so would cheap English transformation art make a novel and attractive form of self-expression available to the masses at an affordable cost. Design savvy is as much a part of the industrial revolution as is engineering.

Price would depend on volume so it would be strictly conjectural what the price of manufactured English transformation art would be. Going to manufacture would only be possible if first the work proves to have a market as signed art. The first milestone was sale of one item and that has been passed. It is a new, and in a sense risky, art investment, a hurdle which every new artist faces, but made especially tricky by the somewhat intelligence-driven effectiveness of the product to make an impression on both the owner, who chooses the text and more than anyone else feels its impact, and others, who presumably have little or no investment in the text and react to the work as is in purely abstract terms. Jumping past this hurdle, especially the one of the owner, is the biggest challenge the business faces at this stage of its development.

These are the considerations that will guide the development of the business from top to bottom. Only sales and profit will prove them to have value, for the artist, for the client, and for the public at large.

I have made my first sale of artwork from my blog.

For the past couple of weeks I have been in conversation with a client wishing to purchase a work of English transformation art. Today I received his payment.

This is the momentous event I have been waiting for. It is no longer an abstract concept alone to be selling art on my blog. Now it is real.

The buyer of my art chooses the text that becomes the art.

The buyer chooses the text that becomes the art. That is the central message I wish to convey. You can see clearly what kind of image you can expect by looking at my gallery. There is a certain look about them that is immediately recognizable. Yet each one is unique as the word or words it represents.

Everyone has a different feeling about individual words. My art gives you the chance to immortalize the word or words that mean the most to you. Perhaps that is your spouse's or child's name, a favorite person or social group, a cause you believe in, a motto, a geographical location. There is no limit to the ideas that people might want to give a special place to as an artwork hanging in their home or office. And you have ten very different color schemes for the piece, each one of them showing off the theme in a special way.

Crystal proves herself a good judge of quality in art

Yesterday I invited Crystal, my girlfriend, to look at the recent colored pencil drawings I have done and pick out those she wants for herself. I was worried about this because I didn't know for sure what her tastes are and it will be one thing to pursue her hand if she has good taste and quite another to pursue her hand if she doesn't.

My greatest fear was that she would want none of them.

However, she picked out four, and I was tremendously encouraged by her selections. Of the nine small works (about 2 1/2"x 4") she picked the one I was confident was the best, two others among the best five, and another I don't recall. This was a quite good yield in terms of being similar taste to my own.

Crystal, like me, is mentally ill.

The obstacle to marrying Crystal and having children, at this point, is that she is mentally ill. My own mental illness I seem to have controlled. Hers is a different matter. She does fine when she is with me--I have the tools to facilitate things. But when she is away from me for any length of time things tend to get frantic. If I can get more time with her I might be able to help her reach a better level. Marriage would give me the time. However it's not a certainty that I can help her. This is a crisis, as it means my plans to raise a family are completely uncertain.

lack of philosophy in a nursing home

Institutions develop infrastructure of rules and regulations. Persons within and without institutions, if they are reputable, have expectations institutions will incorporate better rules and regulations rather than worse. But what is the mean between better and worse? It is usually taken to be whatever exists in the present. The penetration of the mean everywhere in an institution is the first principle of governance, whether public or private.

That being accepted, it is to be noted that persons within and without an institution, beyond expecting better rules and regulations, will cultivate certain bench markers to judge the state of the institution in its mean between better and worse. Rare or unknown is a philosophy of such bench markers. Consequently, judgment degenerates into an assortment of gross specifications which institutions, as a result, are expected to exhibit or run the risk of dissent, possibly venomous dissent. Foremost, for many people, of these specifications is that of consistency. It is foremost because it works in many cases, that is, it enables dissent to be informed by clear and simple illustration of why certain forms are better and certain forms are worse than the mean penetrating throughout the institution. Without this bench marker conditions would easily slip into incomprehensibility for even the most cogent of analytical observers, both within and without the institution.

But consistency is only a gross specification. It cannot accompany the mean everywhere. It is limited in breadth and depth of import throughout the footprint of an institution within itself and without itself. For breadth and depth of import everywhere, admittedly a distant standard for humanity, it is necessary to move in the direction of science, and for this civilization the result in both popular and professional orientation to passage upon the thoroughfares, into byways, and advancing upon frontiers, that has produced philosophy, whose primitive manifestations have included religion and folk tales, and whose recent improvements have led to the general availability of a liberal education. Application of philosophy to life is not easy but it certainly is better than religion and folk tales, and it tends to do better within and without institutions than mere gross specifications as a demand upon judgment of rules and regulations as being better or worse than the mean throughout the institution.

Science, in the ideal case being mathematically formulated natural philosophy, does not accompany men's judgment everywhere they go. For the best of men such accompaniment is limited to simple, non mathematical philosophy, and this structural foundation of civilization's advance has been pursued vigorously for hundreds, perhaps thousands of years, with occasional major advances by persons who have consequently acquired legendary status--persons such as Pythagoras, Buddha, and Fu Hsi. I am not so optimistic as this makes me sound. What of war? Poverty? Abuse of one or more persons by one or more persons whether its obscurity is found in small or large degrees of authority? These will only pass away when the accompaniment of men on all paths is science. Certainly the attainment of such a state is not guaranteed to any species, even homo sapiens in all his trust in his progress's inevitability and non reduction to a limiting sum of an infinite, or perhaps finite, series of species-wide steps.

Philosophy therefore being preferred over gross specification, it is to be considered greatly arguable whether a certain rule at the nursing home where I live is better or worse than the mean which penetrates throughout that home, that rule being that residents are to be always accompanied , supervised, assisted, and even stood in for, when getting hot water out of the hot water outlet on the food line, by staff. I think anyone who has read much of this blog will see how absurd this will be when it is applied to me, as it was this morning (August 5, 2009).

But is it a rule that is worse than the mean? Here is where the great argument will commence.

I have observed something else in the kitchen that also irritates me, and I see it practiced widely everywhere. Someone getting food in a group of equals gets his plate and then tells the server to give him more of one item than the server gave to him as his equal share with everyone else. The server accedes.

Now maybe the server first refuses, but the person gets more forceful. This may go back and forth at length, but eventually, more often than not, the server gives in and puts another spoonful on the person's plate. When I observe this happen I am always on the verge of bursting out, "You get more and the rest of us have to accept what we're given because we're not rude like you are. What justice is there in that?"

Anyone who does this would undoubtedly read this post with a different sense than anyone who sees what I'm talking about.

So while they are bending over backwards to stop me from pouring my own hot water, they are putting an extra helping on the plate of the guy ahead of me because he is rude enough to make a scene, and this in full view of others in line who will be met with less conformity if they should say, "Hey. You let him have more. Why can't I too?" It's the same employee who does both, literally.

So here is where most analysts would argue from consistency against the simultaneous execution of both practices.

But for me it is not so simple. Consistency, as I said, is not able to go everywhere in breadth and depth with rules and regulations. In this case, we could say that while here you are being strict, there you are being lenient, and that's not consistent.

But real consistency demands that two situations have a common framework or foundation, and this is not true here. In one case, there is a safety issue with special relevance because of the large number of functionally challenged residents living here. In the other, the issue is one of authority. Does the server have the authority to deviate from nominal equality? If he does, then I will have to accept it if he decides for his own reasons that he will honor a rude request. If he does not, then we have a roguery completely legitimized, merely by isolation of the point of service in the setting of the institution. This roguery is spread from the serving line to the server. But which is it? Does he have the authority to decide himself, or do regulations leave him no tolerance? One condition, the one where regulations leave the server no tolerance, requires a lengthy discussion between the philosophically endowed observer, who is also a paying resident, and the staff hierarchy. Most likely such hierarchy will not have the patience with a resident, none of whom are recognized as philosophers in any true sense, to reach a satisfactory conclusion with the resident who brings the matter up. The other condition, the one where the server has all the authority he needs to give out more food as he sees fit, may be poor organization, but it cannot be faulted on its command logic. My initial question to staff hierarchy will be simply whether servers have authority or do not have authority to give larger portions as they see fit.

Returning to the first case, of hot water pouring, the critical factor is to what extent is it practical for staff to become familiar enough with different residents that a decision of whom to stop from pouring hot water and whom not to can be made easily, which means without having to create a "no pour" list, and also faithful enough to residents' own view of their own functionality that arguments will not erupt over hot water.

As can be seen from these examples psychiatric nursing homes are fraught with delicate bureaucratic ensnarements, some commonly encountered and some particular to nursing homes.

What allows institutions to function is as much the frequency of philosophically adept observers in society as it is good rote analysts who usually make up the rules in the first place. It is the patience and continuing reflection of the first that gives the second time to eventually make the right decisions. Where the frequency of philosophers is low, thing tend to get mired or maybe just mediocre. Where fortune smiles and the frequency is high, much good will follow.

the New Haven, CT, fire department, 1973

I consider the New Haven, CT, fire department of 1973 a suspect in my continuing bad luck.

I had a fire in my off-campus apartment at 35 Trumbull Street in New Haven in 1973. I fraternized with the firemen in the burnt out remains afterwards.

I grabbed my spider plant babies off the fire escape, exclaiming "Life continues!" or something like that. They weren't amused.

I pointed to the charring on the kitchen floor, saying that was where I had lit a candle before leaving the apartment for the library. I said it must have burnt to the wooden stool it was on and caused the fire. They weren't amused.

The next day the owner of the building asked me for a list of my losses. He said he would be good for them.

When I came to his office later with the list, one of his people took me aside and told me that the firemen had come to the owner and had said something about the young hippy type with long hair who had the fire having caused the fire himself. The offer of being good for the losses was retracted.

I became mentally ill one year later.

I didn't tell the firemen that the reason I lit the candle was that I was having trouble with the girl I loved at the time and wanted to reflect. I got very depressed and forgot to extinguish the candle when I left the apartment to study at the library.

I best a rival suitor for Crystal Newell

Sunday, August 2, 2009, I took Crystal to the DuSable Museum in Garfield Park, Chicago. It is a museum of African American history, and Crystal is black.

It was an excellent trip.

We went after the museum to the campus of the University of Chicago, not far away, where we walked around the grounds and stopped inside a couple of libraries. On the way back to the bus stop we passed Stagg Field, where the first self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was produced, and I was thrilled by seeing it. That historic achievement was presided over by Enrico Fermi, who became a hero for me when I learned that he had a gap in his teeth. On January 4, 2008, I lost one of my front teeth. That's when I started to look at African descent girls to date. They aren't repulsed by tooth gaps, and some of them are really good looking, like Crystal.

After that we stopped at the Illinois Institute of Technology, where I studied graduate architecture for three years, and I showed Crystal around.

Back at the nursing home, an hour went by and I was standing in the lobby with Crystal nearby and a resident named Keith Lisk came in and said to Crystal, "come and help me unload some snacks."

Crystal went right away with him. I was disturbed that he was taking liberties with her and it seemed as if he was trying to horn in on me.

They came back in with cartons of Coke and I said I would carry the Coke up to his room. I didn't want this little business to continue. Crystal said she would do it. Mr. Lisk said, loudly, "Crystal is my girlfriend."

That was war.

I said, "Crystal is not your girlfriend."

He said, "yes she is."

I said, "no she isn't"

He said, "oh yes she is."

Then he went to move past me to get the Cokes and said "excuse me," expecting me to move aside.

I said, "No."

He said, "Are you trying to start something?"

Then he and Crystal disappeared into the elevator.

I began to plot my attack on this rival suitor.

I decided to challenge him to a fight. The problem was that he is a big guy, customarily wealthy and used to getting his way, and his behavior at this point showed that he didn't respect me. I figured the danger was that he would just ignore my challenge and retain his right to court Crystal separately.

I considered the situation at length and saw that the challenge must be rendered immediately and strategically to prevent him from ignoring it in the long run. I composed a speech: "You're a pretty big guy. Do you think you can beat me?" I went to his room hoping to find him in. He was coming out the door and I immediately issued my challenge, verbatim.

He said, "I don't know." and walked by me and headed down the stairs. I went to the stairway and said to him, "If you don't fight me you're a coward." I had composed that too, before going to his room.

He didn't say anything and kept going. His roommate was there and asked me what I called him. I said, "a coward." His roommate laughed.

Now it was necessary to rally my forces. I went to the activity room where there was a big line of residents waiting for dinner. I announced that I had challenged Kieth Lisk to a fight because he was trying to horn in on me. I called upon a friend there, Ken Houk, to be my second. He said something that showed he was not the right choice and I said forget it. I moved on to Charles Gassman and repeated the call.

Charles had once told me he had been in 50 fights, plus he is a genius. I said that the fight would be at the Lake. He asked what the weapons would be. I said I would suggest that there be no weapons. He asked would it be to the death. I said I didn't want to speak of death. It would be no holds barred, no time limit. He asked when the fight would be. I said Mr. Lisk had not yet agreed to the fight. Mr. Gassman said that if I got him to agree to the fight he would serve as my second. I said ok, that I would get back to him when I got Mr. Lisk to agree to the fight.

Then I addressed the room again and said that this fight had nothing to do with Bryn Mawr Care, nothing to do with mental illness, and the staff was not to be informed.

I was on my way out the door then and Linda, the receptionist, walked in and asked if everything was alright in there. I said, "everything is fine in here" and walked out.

I hovered in the area waiting for Linda to either get ornery, because she surely must have heard the whole speech in the activity room as I spoke very loudly and there was no other sound, or wisely ignore the action which I had successfully brought to a tight conclusion at that stage of development of the battle.

Linda returned to her desk in the lobby. I approached her to be sure she was not going to interject herself in my affairs. I said, "do you have any questions for me?" She said no. I indicated acknowledgment and that was another end in my favor.

I returned to my room and planned my next step. I determined that I needed to repeat to Mr. Lisk what I said before to him as he was going down the stairway.

I went to his room, where he was sitting on his bed, and said, "If you don't fight me you're a coward."

He said, "If you don't get out of here I'm going to call the C.N.A."

This showed he didn't want to fight. It changed the battlefield but it didn't lesson the peril. I would have to face staff now to beat him.

I took a walk to get my bearings and decide my next action. I saw that I would have to approach staff proactively. I decided I needed to go and present my case to the administrator, the top on-site official of the facility.

While still outside I engaged in some martial arts movements and determined I was out of shape, martially. I did my best to limber up. Then I returned to the facility.

I was standing in the lobby and engaged in distracting the staff to keep them from getting involved and to reinforce in their minds I was calm and collected, when Mr. Lisk entered the Lobby and immediately called out, "this man tried to start a fight with me."

I said yes I did, because he was trying to horn in on me.

Staff questioned what I meant by that. I said we all know what that means. Let's not pause in our discussion to figure that out now.

Words were said about violence being not the way to solve trouble, etc. etc. etc. I said the fight would be outside, not inside, with seconds, and no weapons.

Amanda, a case manager on duty tried to imply she knew better what the situation called for. I said her experience was minuscule. More words were said. Then I offered that if Mr. Lisk would guarantee that he would never say to anyone that Crystal is his girlfriend, I would drop my challenge.

Amanda was visibly relieved to hear this and turned to Mr. Lisk and asked if he would guarantee it. The two of them haggled a bit, she repeating my accusation that he had called Crystal his girlfriend, he saying "but she is my girlfriend. My friend." This was effectively where I saw that I would get what I wanted. Amanda asked him again if he would agree to the guarantee and he said yes. Then he got on the elevator and went away.

Amanda asked me if I was satisfied and I said not 100%. There was a lot of side action going on during the argument and Mr. Lisk didn't look me straight in the eye when he made the guarantee. Still, I was fairly sure that things were now in my favor.

Amanda took her position on violence a little further, apparently worried I would press my case again, and I said to her "you have sufficient wisdom for your needs. I would like you to grant the same for me." She didn't get it and said again that violence never solved anything, and I said "there hasn't been any violence." and walked away, still ready for a fight because I had been physically preparing myself for a time unlimited battle at the lake at any moment with a man much bigger in stature than myself.

I didn't see Mr. Lisk again until today, the day after. He didn't avoid my glance but he didn't express the perilous cockiness, and I put a little grin on to allow him to smile back if he wished because I knew he had no chance anymore of rivaling my courtship of Crystal. He didn't smile back, went on talking to people as if nothing had happened, and thus enforced the idea in my mind that he underestimated the stakes regarding Crystal.

This then is where I have taken a stand in pursuit of Crystal Newell. The residents, a large number of them, know what I will do if someone rivals me, and now that I have done it I will do it more freely in the future, having delivered appropriate words in the moment embarking on combat. Physical fights I have had but not in my home state. Now those will accrue to my honor and lend credence to my continuing threat of willingness to enter a fight for what I hold dear.

on homosexual policy

The purpose of my policy regarding homosexuals is not to punish them. I am not a believer in retribution. The policy of a death penalty for the first offense of a homosexual having contact with children is a measure of discouragement from that conduct, not punishment. Under this policy it is necessary to strengthen the provisions for individual rights of homosexuals--the prohibition of discrimination primarily. Gay bashing is contrary to a solution to the problem posed by homosexuality. I suspect it is done only because no prior policy based on understanding of both the crisis and the poignancy of homosexuality has existed.

The distinction between individual rights and mating rights is critical. Under my policy, which may or may not be endorsed by the ruling elite of the United States, homosexuals will get no mating rights, none whatsoever. This means not only that they cannot marry, but that public displays of affection, which is a de facto mating right rather than an individual right, is prohibited to them. It is my interpretation that the rights of consenting adults in private, which allow homosexuals to conduct their sexual affairs, are an extension of individual rights and are not actually mating rights. The right to take a coupling anywhere in society, as certified and regulated by marriage, is a mating right, and it is not to be extended to homosexuals. This is a deviation from present laws and will not be easy to achieve in actual manifestation.

Homo sapiens is a compassionate species. This is why leniency with homosexuals is currently a winning proposition. Compassion will yield to understanding when understanding reaches a state of greater persuasiveness than compassion. Understanding and compassion are both eonic processes and both their effects, including leniency for homosexuals, are to be respected. I believe the transition from leniency for to elimination of homosexuality will be similar to the transition from geocentrism to heliocentrism. Great weight is enjoyed by the forces lenient to homosexuality, just as it was enjoyed by the church on the matter of the earth being universally accepted as the center of the universe. Only time will tell whether the crisis of homosexuality is to get equal attention as does its poignancy.

affair on the forums at wetcanvas.com

I recently posted to the forums at wetcanvas.com, where I am a member, asking for comments on my art and linked to here, to my blog, where, as you see, I am selling art with a slideshow at the top of the sidebar.

The post got a comment that alluded to content on my blog that wetcanvas.com members would find contrary to their art interests. I replied with a post offering a conversation and saying isn't that the strength of America. Then there was a reply from a third party who said that just by mentioning America that way I was showing I wanted to go in other directions than art.

I next sent a private message to the third party, as follows:

You seem to take this matter casually. I do not. The content of my blog is not for WC to censor and I get the feeling you two are trying to do that. I was not aware of any policy regarding llinks on WC. I linked to it because I show and sell art there. I do other things too. I don't disown any of it and I advance all of it as circumstance permits. The link was a way to advance the art and I took it. I expected controversy regarding the art and I linked fully prepared to engage in dispute over it. But not disowning the other things either I accepted the challenge issued by the poster. It would have been more prudent to send him a private message but then it would perhaps have been more prudent for him to send me one too if he wanted to dispute a matter unrelated to art. He could have left his comment on my blog but he left it here. I spoke about it on WC only because it was brought up here by someone else, sullying my name in a way which I will not sit idly by and allow to remain unchallenged where it is open to public view. I believe I did so with integrity, offering a conversation rather than engaging in epithets ("homophobic vitreol"). I am content with my response. You didn't like it. The whole matter should have been handled in private, but once it was out I had to defend myself, or would you disagree? Pehaps the intention of his comments is to disuade other WC members from going to my blog, knowing that he has no grounds to challenge the link. He is intitled to his politics and their advancement like anyone else. What I do about his advancement of his politics is my business, also like anyone else.

This is a private message. Who is responsible for bringing non-art issues to WC? My art is at the top of my blog. My reference to the blog at WC was about art. The other things on the blog are irrelevant to art. Why bring them up? Every day webpages are visited that contain widely diverse subject matter. Some are entirely monothematic. WC, appropriately so, is strictly monothematic. To ask outside sources to link in only if they too are monothematic in art seems to me to be going beyond due process. I made every attempt on my blog to make the art separable from the other things, placing it at the top and putting in a sticky referring only to it. I think I am just as devoted to art, and to keeping business and politics separate, as you are. I don't like this affair. It puts me in a bad llight. I love art. I spend a great deal of time with it. I believe in blogging, and that means openness. It puts a person at risk. It is wide enough a venue to allow anyone to say anything about anything, provided it it lawful. You might say it is more freedom than even the artist has. If by defending my blog I am bolstering bloggers' freedom then art can only gain additional freedom by my standing firm on my position, not on an issue, but on my freedom to link to my blog as a platform for art, as well as other things easily ignored if one is really just interested in the art. I risk comments such as I see here. I would like to appreciate everyone who disputes with me for their every strength. I invite you to do the same. Maybe we should take a cue from President Obama and all go out together for a beer. Make mine a virtual, barkeep!

I am now selling my art on my blog.

Yesterday I entered the world of blog art sales. You will now find at the top of the sidebar: (a) an example of my own genre, English transformation art, the color scheme being one of ten available schemes to be seen at flickr.com and the text being anything specified by the buyer (but read the introduction before you click on the paypal button) (b) A little introduction to this original genre, (c) a paypal button with fields for the client to fill out, and (d) a comment box, or "cbox".

This is a momentous beginning for me and like any artist I will be waiting anxiously for the first sale.

My readers can comment here to this post by clicking on "Comments" at the bottom of the post, or comment in the cbox in the sidebar.

I discipline a staff member at bryn mawr care, July 19, 2009, 1 a.m.

I was watching a movie on tv at 1 am. A staff came in and said it was too late for me to be watching tv. I had words with her to which she said nothing and left the room. A few minutes later she came back with two other staff including william dorsey with whom I had an exchange and I turned down the tv, William was satisfied, The three staff left discussing the affair, and I overheard their discussion.

Afterwards I made a few notes, as follows:

2009 07 20 0(a.m.) Be prepared to be summoned to Patrick's (the administrator's) office.

"She dealt with me bluntly so I dealt with her bluntly."

Her complaint: ~"Now I am afraid of him", ~"Do you know how close to my face you were?", ~"I don't want to be in that room with him."

My point was that I deserved respect just because I live here.

Now there are two possible reasons for staff to be afraid of a resident:

0. social deviance

1. justice

0. There are no posted rules setting hours when the tv can be watched.

On the record:

-- I called her a young lady.

-- I didn't use any profanity.

-- The last thing I said to her was "Do we understand each other?"

Off the record:

-- I am senior to her.

This is a pretty good brick.

-- || ~"If I can't make bricks how am I supposed to build buildings?" -- spoken in reference to the mental upset I feel every time I go to make a measly disciplinary move in combination with the mafia's upset with my lack of a warlike spirit |

starting out on an art marketing site

I have been moving on setting up a presence on a site that markets artwork.

I plan to upload images of my code art, as I have been calling it. I am changing my name for it to "english transformation art, an art/product of inventor james batek".

I will be able to conduct business on the site, explaining the idea, arranging deals, collecting payment, etc.

I have calculated corrections to the calendar incorporating slowing of the earth's rotation.

Using the figures for current days/year of 365.242199 and annual rotational slowing of 0.008812 seconds/year/year, I have calculated what I believe to be perhaps the best divisibility corrections to the calendar. I divided time after the current year 1 into seven intervals, numbered 0-6. each begins with the year 1. At each expiration, the values of (observable days/year minus cumulative calendar days/year) are given as follows:

0: -0.0000245
1: 0.0000799
2: 0.0000669
3: -0.0000970
4: -0.0000119
5: 0.0000409
6: -0.0000180

The sum of squares is 2.3007 e -8

I am still asking for someone to buy my figures at the asking price of $7,000,000,000 (make me a counter offer.) Included in that price is calculation by my heirs of all corrections up to the time at which the earth will make one rotation every year, The same side facing the sun constantly, like the moon does around the earth. presumably that will be a stable condition and not change for the remainder of the life of the sun. If slowing does not change, the earth will face one side to the sun always after some 3.5 billion years. The expected lifetime of the sun is 5 billion years.

considering my readers as clients

I am concerned that I have created too much of a memory-driven product here. I need to consider my readers as clients. what real value have I to offer here? The more powerful an idea, the greater the fallout. There should be ramifications that reach into tiny details. Otherwise, its just daydreaming.

But why is there no response to the matter of planning ahead for the calendar? Is it that people don't follow the math? Or is it that they trust "the authorities" to make the right decisions without a public debate? It was "the authorities" at Time Magazine and Encyclopedia Britannica who advanced a common year in 4000, a measure that wouldn't work if the earth's rotation were not slowing, and won't work considering that the earth really is slowing. Who else is willing to think about this? I found this link to a discussion, but it leaves me still wanting someone to talk about the pattern of alternating leap and common years at certain divisibilities as the way to gradually close in on a better fit, With slowing rotation the fly in the ointment that ends the system at four divisibilities. the language they use officially about the 100 and 400 year divisibilities is not instructive about this alternation effect, and leads to much confusion in the minds of the public.

divisions of time into administrative regimes

Given a different set of divisibility corrections, a new administration regime will need to identify its range of years as a different administration. This argues in favor of rezeroing. changing divisibility corrections is not a minor adjustment and continuing year count across the divide is misleading. The more regimes, the more need to identify them all and continuous years is not good for this.

The fact that in early regimes the difference is encountered in late divisibility corrections is not a geneal situation since in later regimes the first divisibility correction will be different. The feeling of continuity is not good to endorse. this supports rezeroing.

A year zero cannot be calculated as leap or common. Its omission may have been purposeful. In any case its omission in this type of system is correct, which argues against any conclusion that the calendar orders the real number line.

implications of a failing calendar system

The roman system of corrections to an integral day year leads to a series of embedded, increasingly long, lulls of uniform rates of inaccuracy, a series which ends, due to a slowing earth rotation, at four.

It was military success that enabled the adoption of this system, and so its only real use is militarily achieved unification of the peoples.

The temporary nature of the system suits a temporary time of military developments and political consolidations. It has agricultural use only in service to those ends. Consequently, the world after the calendar expires will be riddled with questions of what it has produced that will fail to find anyone willing to answer. The calendar puts everyone in one ship.

Everyone can see the calendar losing accuracy. Who among them has seen the math of adding a slowing earth rotation?

On the first, no one in authority but me has done us all the service of calculating and publishing it. Why have i done it? Because i am a failure within the calendar and built outside it, trusting in my personal validity rather than judgments of the mentally ill.

As daylight savings time shows, homo sapiens needs a calendar to directly show process and cannot itself provide modifications to make it work. So one would expect the same for integral days per year, only there is no modification that will work beyond so many years.

What agreements are homo sapiens forming to move beyond this calendar? After so many years it will fail. What agreements are larger than those made in the calendar? God is strictly a calendar kind of guy. I suggest people start asking this type of question or they will lose more and more options as time progresses.

The slowing of the earth's rotation will lead to a break in the leap year calendar system.

I have a figure for the measured slowing of the earth's rotation. It is 0.008812 seconds per year per year.

Every year later that a given correction divisibility year occurs, leap year for odd corrections, common year for even corrections, the size of the correction is smaller. therefore, only one correction can be made in the future given slowing. another correction would contend with even greater accumulated slowing, which would require an earlier time of correction to produce a larger correction, contradicting the later correction time. so such a correction is mathematically impossible, and therefore physically impossible, given this calendar system, as well.

I have calculated modified fits, accounting for slowing, and find that one of the divisibility years--divisible by all previous divisibility years and an integral factor of the last previous one--is both a better fit than the previous corrections combined and better than those to either side of it.

You can either pay me to publish that year, do the calculation yourself, or find someone able to do it cheaper and with less bureaucracy than me.

The year i have calculated is the last possible correction under the current calendar system and after that year fit of the calendar will continue to worsen indefinitely, because slowing makes further corrections impossible, no matter how good the fit is in any one year.

My suggestion that i had calculated corrections good beyond the lifetime of the sun was made without considering slowing and i had thought that the mathematics would permit indefintie better fit corrections provided the slowing was gradual enough. that was before i looked at slowing more carefully, and now it is clear my optimistic view was in error.

Instead, it appears that the calendar's method of reconciling the length of the year with the length of the day is practical only for a limited interval of time. To cover a more or less indefinte interval of time, successive rezeroing of the years, and acceptance of a division of time into disparate administrative units, is the only solution.

As we have seen with the loss of the roman empire but the continuation of its julian calendar, with modifications, the calendar's administration is likely to outlive any given national government, including the united states.

Homosexuals impeding me in my position on homosexuality are enemy combatants.

It is my position that homosexuals are not equal to heterosexuals in their entitlement to propagate their sexual orientation. Among the consequences of this position, if it is subscribed to by a ruling elite, is my policy that homosexuals get no contact with minors under penalty, for the first offense, of death. Another consequence of this position is that any homosexual who is found inpeding me in my position is an enemy combatant, and any heterosexual who aids such impediment is also an enemy combatant.

year 2000 restored to leap year in new calculation. common, divisible by 400, will be later than that.

I have recalculated calendar year divisibility corrections to push back the 2000 year correction. It's actually a better set of corrections than the original one. It achieves the same fit in 7 corrections instead of 12. I still won't reveal any of them though until I get an escrow agreement at an acceptable price.

I have yet to address the slowing of the earth's rotation, which decreases the ratio of days per year over time.

I have calculated calendar corrections through the lifetime of the sun. they are for sale.

The julian calendar provides one divisibility correction to the 365 day year, at divisibility by 4 in years away from the nonexistent year zero. The gregorian calendar provides three divisibility corrections, at divisibility by 4, 100, and 400. My 2009 Time/Britannica almanac offers a suggestion that a correction be made at divisibility by 4000. I find this to be an unwise suggestion, as it is not a step past the modern calculation for days/year of 365.242199 from the previous divisibility correction, Thus there is no subsequent correction that will improve fit. Each correction of the gregorian calendar, throws the cumulative correction to the other side of the modern value from the previous correction, getting closer to the modern value each time. by failing to cross over like that, the 4000 year correction creates a situation where the next, necessarily alternating type of correction (alternating between leap or deny leap), would worsen the cumulative fit--an absurd suggestion.

I have calculated 9 divisibility corrections past the 3 of the gregorian calendar which each improve fit, achieving a days/year value of 365.24219900000. In the event science refines its calculation of days/year I can recalculate my divisibilty corrections and replace the zeroes with whatever the refined figures are. I am not going to divulge my corrections unless homo sapiens civilization pays me $7 billion.

You laugh? You homo sapiens have a 4000 year correction on tap that effectively ends the usefulness of the calendar after 20,000 years. My corrections will reach five zeroes past the modern value and this means I can adapt the calendar beyond the expected lifetime of the sun, or 5 billion years.

If you don't like my price, make me a counter offer. I'm a businessman. Your efforts without me are leading to a dead end, so who is going to get five zeroes past the modern value, recalculable to suit, for cheaper and with less bureaucracy? Our attorneys would draw up an escrow agreement naming someone authoritative, such as the national institute of standards and technology, to validate that the corrections produce the claimed fit to the measured value of days/year.

I will advise you that my corrections include a common year in 2000 instead of the gregorian leap there. I would assert that this is a small price to pay for getting coverage for the expected lifetime of the sun.

My father married my mother as part of a racist conspiracy

After many years of going over my recall of my father it is my increasingly convinced conclusion that he was a part of an explicit conspiracy of intelligent people to put down the black race.

When I turned into a potential ivy leaguer with realized inclinations favorable to blacks, this conspiring group had a married couple graduated from duke university move into the house next door to us. The man tried to talk me out of becoming a social activist. he and my father did a lot of drinking and talking together by themselves. My father moved out because i picketed a store on liberal causes and my mother defended me when he stormed in after learning i had done it.

When I later, after becoming mentally ill, lived with him in florida for a year or so, he and his family all were crawling with lies and deceptions in my face whenever I raised issues of my upbringing.

I believe he was assigned to infatuate and marry my mother for the purpose of confounding her liberal beliefs. There is no other way to make sense of the marriage.

This conspiring group is constantly at my mind, conniving and manipulating, bolstered by the early access my father had to me in an impressionable state. It may not have gained a convert, but it certainly ruined a liberal opponent. I am mentally ill, penniless, unemployable, and without colleagues or friends from years ago.

If i had it my way, my father would be decried as the greatest miscreant in the history of mankind. If I am any bit the kingpin of chicago I say I am, something on that order will be done. Only then will I be free to take my place in the world as a whole-hearted supporter of the black race.

Crystal sits down with me.

Friday, June 19, at lunch, my girlfriend Crystal came into the dining room (temporarily the activity room) and passed up ten vacant seats to sit across from me. This is the first time she has done that. In the past she has been totally absent of any preference for anyone's company. Wednesday night, June 17, I took her to Millenium Park in downtown Chicago for an outdoors classical music concert. Apparently she thought I showed her off well. I enjoyed her company very much. I stared at her endlessly during Elgar's Enigma Variations. She accepts my stares now. No other girlfriend has done that for me. I think she likes it, though maybe I am imagining it. So long as she lets me do it, it doesn't matter. I need her face close to mine.

pigeon reaction to my cycling independence

Because I was so independent from any other homo sapiens about making my first bike trip from glen ellyn to lake geneva, not using a map or an alarm clock and making major repairs without guidance, when I started my trip in sweden the pigeons swarmed and marked me for ruin. I posed an ecological threat to class aves domination of single-organism navigation. I am going to negotiate for a new deal with them, based on my acknowledgement of class aves having significant logical capabilities, and my established commerce with some of their species. aves economics are deeper than mammalia's.

I have registered at a site for bike trip journals.

I have registered at a site for bike trip journals. It is http://crazyguyonabike.com. My handle there is glenellynboy. I also go by my real name there, James Batek.

I have entered journal set-up for all my bike trips, but i have only completed one trip journal, for my first trip from my hometown, glen ellyn, illinois, to lake geneva, wisconsin, and back, in 1971. I have begun work on the next trip, in europe. Both of these pieces are published. The subsequent ones are not yet started or published.

columba livia policy revision

I am taking the position that if columba livia does good toward me, i will do good toward it. but if columba livia does bad toward me i will do bad toward it.

revision of my earlier position on the black race

I would point out to ranking blacks that my thinking about their race earlier, in which I drew conclusions from a model of taxonomical divisions which i created and which no longer informs my thinking because it lacks wide ranging confirmation, has been supplanted by a more wide open perspective. At the time i used this model I was working in absence of a unified model other than my own and also was limited by my stage of logical development to bonds with the white race, both conditions mitigating against a prolonged examination of the nature of race. As my logic has developed I have had time to see some significant factors in black race nature which puts it in no different class than white race nature and the question which I have had all along of whether black race misfortunes are the result of chance in race encounter with the global environment or of innate relative maladaptation seems to be answered by chance. I know of no one who has taken such a broad view of the issue of race comparisons but myself and I say this without an attempt to position myself as a leader of the species but rather to defend myself against the natural resentment which my public pronouncements have aroused. It is a more complex case than growing wiser with age. It is a matter of very difficult purpose.

civilization's lateral extension versus delving deeper

Workers who extend this civilization laterally find appeal in novel word combinations. Workers who delve deeper find themselves needing to break words up and reassemble new ones from the parts.

Science extends this civilization laterally. This is evident in its contentment with words as they are.

Yale day of service

Yale has created what they call the Yale day of service, one day a year where Yale alumni and their friends and family do volunteer work in their communities.

I think I'll ask my girlfriend, Crystal, if she wants to do it with me. I'll still do it myself if she doesn't want to.

I have chosen as site the Primo Center for Women and Children, a homeless shelter in west Garfield park here in Chicago.

My parents didn't give me any sex education.

My parents never gave me any sex education. I needed it in kindergarten. I was beseiged by incipient sexual feelings in the classroom which only generally could be identified with girls in the class. I had no idea where these feelings led. It was due time for a sex lesson and I didn't get it.

Consequently, I pursued sexual feelings at home where I thought it was safer. I got into my mother's drawer and was caught by her. She immediately told my father and my father blew up. This proved for me that adulthood was an unlawful state. I rejected every invitation to adapt my father's example. I never learned adulthood. I was much more aware of what was going on than what people took me for, and my sexual urges were very strong.

My parents castigated me for cross dressing, but it was their fault for not giving me any sex education. You could say well, it isn't given in kindergarten. Ok, fine. But I was different from other children. I needed it then. I didn't have the words to describe my situation to anyone and all my language learning was academic, without any practical sex topics. I am not perverted. I am abused.

My father was a sexual cretin. Any sex education he could have given me would have been counterproductive. He had no business marrying a woman with genes for intelligence. He wasn't able to act the father for an intelligent son. My life was a never-ending scene of mistepping fatherhood by him.

All my life I have struggled to merge my sexual desires with my career objectives. There just wasn't, and isn't, any common ground in my foundation for them. I seem clearly to be doomed to failure and if my ecological life, ejected from the mainstream and forced to find companionship in class aves, brings down a lot of people in the global financial crisis, It brings me my only possible happiness. Sure, I would like to see both myself and the world thrive. It isn't happening. Do you see it happening? I don't seed it happening.

A long time ago, when I was poor and surrounded constantly by a crude poor population of mostly blacks, I was forced by my circumstances to take up an aggressive anti-black racism.

It seems to be that I was noticed as such by one or more militant black groups and targeted for suppression that may have continued to today.

I have since those terrible days put myself back on the pro-black track. I am no longer pressured by a violent black population. I can reflect on the reasons so many blacks are violent and when I see them being violent it is never a direct threat to my safety.

I also can see that the black population is vastly underrated by the white population. I eventually supported obama in the presidential primary and general election. I am very pleased with his conduct in office.

I look forward to a conversion of the united states to a completely non-racist state.

trying to become a speaker

Yesterday I sent an email to about 50 Chicago churches offerring myself as a speaker, highlighting my Yale degree and my eight years of homelessness.

So far no replies.

trouble

No one seems interested in me. Things for everyone seem to be getting troubled.

something on knowledge and technology I found

I came across this quote today at http://www.brint.com/km/:

"Lessons learned from the world's greatest organizations show that even simple technologies can generate great performance when empowered by smart minds of motivated and committed humans. Conversely, 'intelligent' technologies may produce dumb results if those smarts are missing as evident from the cases of companies once considered great in the past era."

A lot of hype in technology today and little realization of this simple truth.

allegation: Yale and Princeton admitted girls for some warped reason related to me

There is a presence in the audience resembling the frantic grasping used by Jon Astroth to pin me in less than half a minute in our finalist wrestling match in junior high school. It is disolving my creative work at a rapid rate.

Jon and I were both in the band in the seventh grade. We both played clarinet. He was ranked in the first few seats of the last row. I was in the last few seats. There were about 12 in the last row altogether. There was a challenge among everyone in the last row--a test of a piece of music in private audience by the band director. The results determined the new rankings. My father, Ken Batek, promised me 50 cents for every seat I moved up. I went to the top. I don't know where Jon went. It wasn't the top. I don't recall him being in the band in the eighth grade. I became first chair.

I don't recall what year the wrestling tournament was held--the one I recall wrestling Jon in. It was a 2-year junior high school.

My father forced me to apply to U of I for college. That's apparently where Jon went, as my investigations show he lives near there now. Maybe my father figured if I was such a hot wrestler in high school i could follow him to U of I and get a second shot at him.

Jon and I were both straight a students. He was a star athlete on the basketball team in junior high. He starred on the baseball, basketball, and football teams in high school. In football he was the starting quarterback. In football our school was in a 3-way tie for first in the conference our senior year. Jon was never in any of my honors classes, either in junior high or in high school. I don't know what his class rank was in high school. Mine was 8th of about 600 second semester junior year, 5th first semester senior year, and second semester senior year I had gotten into Yale, Princeton, and RPI and didn't bother to ask for my rank. My father had told me I would be rejected by Yale. I don't know if he was lying or not. Freshman year at Yale when I came home for break my father told me he had heard I was taking sociology and he told me he was very upset with me for doing so. I wasn't taking any sociology at Yale. Yale had determined that my father's fair share of my college costs was $2000 per year. He informed me he would only pay $1200. He wouldn't pay any more for me than he was going to for Sandy. Maybe he was trying to keep me from succeeding at Yale. In junior high my father's mother, Marie Batek, gave me a christmas gift of a math game called "wff n proof". It was over my head. One of the most famous things about Yale is the senior singing group called the Wiffnpoofs. In junior high my mother caught me cross dressing in my parent's bedroom and told me if I did it again she would tell my father. I did it again. Then one weekend the family took a trip to chicago and stayed in a hotel. They didn't invite me. I stayed at home and cross dressed. When they got back they said they saw Sammy Davis Jr. in an elevator. My father considered blacks as a racist. Yale admitted girls the year I arrived. Princeton did the same year. I wrote when I was having trouble with blacks in boston that the kkk had a general, meaning me. My father came, took me to see Al Haig's wife, and she gave me a bunch of used clothes. When my father's father died I went to the interment at Bohemia National. My father lurched in "tears" toward me, I think he was trying to see if I was grieving. When he left me at my apartment he made a comment under his breath that I would never be with a white woman again. His father was known to the family as having been in the kkk.

If Yale was induced to admit girls to manage my image with someone by making it possible I was a girl and not a cross dresser, is it any wonder I became mentally ill?

Let (Yale and Princeton admitted girls for some warped reason having to do with my father's furor over my cross dressing) = A.

If A, then B, I am the most important Yalie ever, C, someone has an investment of that scale in keeping me from distinguishing myself, D, no effort will be spared to be sure of that, and E, the active intelligence pitted against me is not my father's, but someone much more capable.

My role is not lessened by D.

Defeat for me implies I will not have a white woman.

The more damning condition is all the things I have done to distinguish myself which have been undermined because of C, D, and E. if A is proven, then the reparations will be astronomical. As Osiris, my deeds are enormous, all to no endorsement. The only sufficient terms are spotlights.

The presence resembling Jon Astroth's pin of me might be only one aspect of a larger presence that includes the power E. The pin effect would then be only my memory of it, not any part of Mr. Astroth's camp.

I never considered Jon Astroth an arch enemy. Evidently my father considered wrestling my only way to redeem myself as a man despite my cross dressing. I think of it as a side show to the real conflict, which was intelligence. My father's mother committed herself to getting me into Yale. This proved an error that she was unable to easily fix. I find it repugnant that she used coercive means to get me to select Yale. Possibly the reasoning was not to get me to select Yale, but to get ambitious about going to Yale. Either way, it's coercion. It presumes that I would forever be subservient to her will, and not able to advance without coercion. It shows a lack of what it takes to be a leader, or just to raise one. The whole plan backfired. When A is proven it will be historical damnation for my father and his mother, not because they went so far to conceal my cross dressing, but because they coerced me into going to Yale, second thought it, and watched as my ruin proceded.

Evidently, since Dave Ristau was cut in at the moment of JFK's death, the mob considered me presidential material. This made coercion desirable to them. It's still unlike a leader. Better to let the country have a lesser president than a better president except for being coerced into going down that road, unable to know his life with clarity. Such is not a great president. We have plenty of the lesser kind, and that's all I could have become, if indebted to such a plot. The cross dressing is a result of greater sex appetite. They discount that I might have a great appetite for girls, which I do, than just about anyone. This marked me for greater destiny than the presidency. When A is proven, and history makes a sharp turn, many lives will be parted from many lives.

as First, these are the changes I would make

Envisioning changes is a lengthy and circuitous process.

We are talking about the U.S., a state resulting from a rare confluence of brilliant and courageous men and women not likely repeated.

What has never happened is a vision of a single species administration.

Competition* would have to be a greater motive than security, enfolding security within it.

There is no doubt that word groups that reach ideas outside what has been imagined will stimulate interest. Placement outside however is not success. It can be done with normal faculties. success requires work with remote faculties, whose self awareness is not discussable.

My normal faculties view placement outside as a wound, panic, and build up around the fissure to seal it. This is socially motivated panic.

A drive continent is firm. It is both discovered and made.

When you have the ability to survive without security** your competition can risk the loss of security.

If you do not have this ability your competition cannot risk the loss of security.

Survival without security is a feat unassisted*** by sexuality.

World financial difficulty is a choice between reducing integrity while increasing dependency on the one hand, and entering asexually motivated survival without security on the other.



*based on a better way than being better

**i.e., one set of clothing and a light jacket. no id. occasionally alleviated.

***sexual life is not at an advantage over asexual life.

registered at bizreef.com as freelance proofreader

I have registered on a freelancers site, bizreef.com to get business proofreading.

repression of me by unspecified Roman Catholics

One day when I was little my siblings and I were delighted to have the opportunity to persecute some Roman Catholics. One or more of them appeared at our home on some errand to see our mother. When we noticed or heard or figured out that the person or persons was a Roman Catholic, we hid behind our mother and taunted: "euuuuuu...you're a CATHOLIC!!" We were taken to the local protestant church every sunday. Religion was not discussed in the home. Our mother shushed us for speaking out at the door visitor(s).

I have had a couple of strong impressions that somebody considers my intelligence evil. Evil is a Christian rallying point.

The Catholic church's history and documentation of a large number of saints offers a wealth of strategies for warfare in the matter of righteous indignation. It's too bad that they had to go to such lengths to make an issue of this incident on our doorstep, which hardly seems the level of persecution undergone by probably any saint.

Because a number of Catholic priests have been appreciative of my general good nature, I feel this blackball is among the Catholic laity. Otherwise, it would have to split the clergy.

Although from a casual perspective this seems mere childishness, the national nature of the action shows it is a cause celebre of some national power. Two monarchs can be sterling exemplars and still loathe each other in every way. Certainly then an existing monarch can have the same response to a commoner such as myself. The fact that I have taken the ball as far as appointment as a mafia kingpin returns it back to the case of monarch versus monarch. My being now a monarch doesn't lessen the animosity they feel for me. nor does it of itself diminish their power to influence my playing field.

took proofreading test

I took a test for being a proofreader at ExpertRating.com today. Passed it with a score of 62 out of 100, which is at the 94th percentile of all test takers. Here are my partial scores:

documentation, 60%
grammar & usage, 89%
indexes, 50%
number usage, 50%
proofreading for consistency and accuracy, 70%
punctuation, 38%

Now I will look for a proofreading job. These could be either freelance or physical office jobs. I understand a typical pay rate is $18/hour.

Crystal is off restriciton

After putting Crystal on notice she would lose me if she was not able to get off restriciton, and didn't choose to marry me in that case, I mentioned this condition to some staff at the nursing home. They felt it was too strict. I said Crystal wasn't moving on it. They said she had been asking around about it, specifically with the assistant administrator, Dorothy Jackson. This was useful information.

I asked Miss Jackson about it. We talked at some length. She suggested I talk to the clinical director, Pat Blumen, as she was primarily responsible in this matter.

Talking with Miss Blumen, it was apparent she had learned something about me from the last conversation we had had. When I told her I wanted to expedite Crystal getting off restriction she said she had been thinking about it and was ready to take her off, provided the doctor (psychiatrist) approved it.

So she followed through and now Crystal is off restriction.

the sensitivity of the minicomputer touchpad to touch--"uch"

Notes on Uch

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Internet & Technolog Research touch click

bicycling legend of 1986, Santee, CA

As video seven in the sidebar tells, in the summer of 1986 I put up a legend with my body on a highway in Santee, CA. I was coming home from a bike trip for the day and had a flat tire so I was walking my bike. I think it was in the late afternoon.

The legend happened as a result of me seeing a cyclist approaching on the road ahead of me. He was riding an expensive bike with a windshield. To help him stabilize I put my bike beside me and put out my legs and arms in a star. when he got up to me I flipped my hands perpendicularly and sighted my feet and my hands, first away from the cyclist and then toward him, smiling, which he returned.

As this was happening, just before I flipped my hands, an expensive car approaching swirved into the opposite lane of traffic, back into its own lane, and onto the shoulder where it parked.

After the exchange with the cyclist I took my bike and continued to walk down the highway toward the parked car, where its occupants had exited the car and lined up along the inside of the shoulder, three of them, appearently father, mother, and young daughter.

As I passed the three figures I said nothing nor did they. I looked gravely into the distance.

Then i walked home, which wasn't far away--a home on Buena Vista which its owner had rented out as rooms.

Shortly afterward, perhaps the next week, I left Santee, traveling first to Boston and then to Chicago, where I have been for the most part ever since.

If by some chance word gets to the three travelers who saw me that day, or the cyclist on the bike with a windshield, of this post, the sky is the limit, as I have seen every indication the incident was remembered and has guided bicycle culture in the united states ever since.

Crystal can avoid losing me in two weeks by marrying me.

I have additionally stipulated to Crystal that if she does not beat the rap the nursing home has against her then there is one condition under which I would consent to still date her, namely, marriage.

This is a very simple condition in terms of logic.

From her point of view, either she is able to beat the rap on her own or not. If she is, she gets to date me. If she isn't, she gets the option of having me participate in her welfare under protection of the law, if we are married.

From my point of view, either she beats the rap and proves herself able to hold her own in the adverse mental health bureaucracy without my help, and will therefore be able to be in a modern relationship of equality with me, justifying a long courtship and much later marriage, or she doesn't beat the rap, in which case she gets the option of an expeditious marriage which would be somewhat forced on her, and which would necessarily be a more traditional marriage of male dominance, which is the whole reason it is a tenable option since only male dominance by me will enable her to hold her own against the mental health bureaucracy, if she proves unable to do it herself. I am quite able to act out either option for my part, though I would prefer equality.

The substance of the restriction on Crystal is a claim that she got lost on the south side of Chicago, had no money to get back, and had to be brought back by her family.

Crystal's claim, made to me, and I believe hers over theirs, is that she went to Targets on the south side, and had enough money to get home, but her sister showed up there in her car and brought her back from there. I asked Crystal how her sister knew she was at Targets and she said she didn't know.

It isn't unusual, from talking to Crystal over the several months we have dated, for her not to know important details that affect her life materially. She doesn't know if her grandparents are alive. She doesn't know if her parents ever married. Another man than myself, upon hearing of this failing of details, would undoubtedly have ventured into one or another sort of interrogation. Such a tack would have alienated Crystal in the first incident and there would never have been a second. So I believe I know more about Crystal than anyone else in my position would know by now.

While it is impossible to know exactly what Crystal's experience over the full course of her life has been, it is possible to speculate that this highly intelligent and alert young lady has been dealt less than a full hand and is not to blame.

One thing I do not want to do is scandalize Crystal's family. However, it appears to me, and life does not permit us to consider each other's lives very scientifically as would allow me to do better than comment on appearances, that Crystal is in a dysfunctional family with a polished exterior and Crystal is being forced to soldier through life as if she had the polish but is not being credited for suffering the dysfunction.

Here is the reason i say this:

Our nursing home made my meeting Crystal's mother a condition of my taking her out past curfew to see our first opera. The meeting occurred on the day I was working as a judge of election last November. This was actually after the opera but her mother failed to show for an earlier scheduled meeting. We met in the foyer of the church where the election was being held. It had to be quick.

Upon meeting Crystal's mother, whose name I will presently withhold (it is not Crystal's last name), I was immediately impressed with her well dressed appearance, most agreeably accompanied by a startlingly good-looking figure and radiant, definitely glamorous face. After a sketchy introduction I expressed my overwhelming approval of her by embracing her, which she accepted in kind. I looked between Crystal and her and immediately saw that they were exact lookalikes, to the limits of my powers of observation on the fly.

I leaped into a statement about certain bureaucratic difficulties Crystal and I were having but her mother quashed all that, calmed me down, and said she would return on another day when we would have plenty of time to discuss such things.

This was essentially all of our meeting. however it leaves one thing out.

Crystal's mother smelled strongly of alcohol.

This public airing requires me to immediately add that my own brother is now facing a drinking problem and spent some time in a hospital detox recently.

I personally have never had an alcohol problem. I am very sympathetic, however, and if asked to give the world for Crystal's mother, or for my brother, in the interest of helping them fight this addiction, i would gladly do so. When my brother told me of his problem I decided to give up alcohol myself in solidarity. I have broken that promise to myself once in a year, at a time when I felt far from my brother in affection. He has fallen back into drinking since then and I am more likely to not drink as a result. His is the problem, Mine is the symbol. They are both important and both difficult, for completely different reasons.

I cannot expect to have a chance to say to Crystal or her mother that I smelled alcohol on Crystal's mother's breath. I don't expect their circle to read of it here. I hope, however, that the centrality of my life and of this blog, provide the insight into Crystal and her mother, in general and in specific detail, that may just make the difference, in Crystal's life if not in her mother's.

When I told Crystal that if she doesn't beat the rap in two weeks then I will only date her if we get married, she burst out into laughter. It tells me she doesn't have much belief in me. Time will tell whether she is able to think clearly enough to see the logic in marriage as I have laid it out here. I think one aspect of the problem she faces is that she doesn't recognize the logic in what people say, never having seen it before. Maybe now she has.